Things I swore I'd never do

 

Oh, to be the youngest... 

Unexpected Things

(1)  I had the stomach flu over the weekend while my entire family was away.  Good because there were no kids to knock on my door every few minutes, but bad because there was no one to bring me 7up and crackers when I needed them.  I know, rookie mom move to not have crackers and 7up during flu season.  So I resorted to asking one of my friends to bring me some.  In my mind, she could quickly run to the store while her hubby watched and kids.  In reality, she was out of town, so her hubby packed up the kids, lugged them into the store, and dropped them off at my house.  Thank God for AMAZING friends!!

(2)  When I got comfortable running 3 miles and my friend asked me what I was going to do next.  Try to get faster or try to run farther?  My answer was neither.  I just wanted to enjoy spending that time with God.  Since then I have just been running my 3 miles a day, but unexpectedly I have gotten faster. 

(3)  Apparently long socks are back in.  They're the Nike ones that I used to wear for basketball when I was a kid.  When I go to the Y after school it is teeming with teenagers.  All of them, even the girls,  have on their workout shorts and tennis shoes with these long socks.   Maybe I should break mine out and join the cool kids:)

(4)  Leaves are dangerous!  One day I was jogging and I saw something scurry in front of me.  I nearly jumped out of my skin and almost twisted my ankle, only to realize that it was just a leaf.  I really hope no one was outside that day to see it.  If so, they got a really good laugh.  The very next day, I was out jogging and it was very windy.  As I'm tooling along a leaf smacks me in the face.  It really hurt.  Darn Kansas wind.

Communicating Respect

We are in between studies in Sunday school, so last Sunday our teacher brought her own lesson, well one from the internet anyway.  25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband and 25 Ways to Show Your Wife You Love Her.  We didn't have time to get through all of them in class, so Bubba and I went through them at home.  He chose five things I can work on and I chose five he can work on.  Here are mine:

1.  Choose Joy - He did elaborate that I usually do a good job at this, but there's a certain time of the month that I struggle.  I know exactly what he's talking about...'nough said.

2.  Honor His Wishes - The list said to give weight to what your husband thinks is important.  He shared with me that above all else, he would like supper ready when he gets home.  This may come easily to some of you, but I absolutely hate to cook.  Deciding what to make, getting the ingredients from the store, putting the meal together at home, and doing the dishes is pure torture to me.  But since that is what is important to him, I am making that a priority. 

3.  Be Thankful - Be appreciative for everything your husband does for you, big or small.  Always say thank you.  This should be easy, but I know that sometimes I let my pride get in the way of this.  He did say that I am not a complete failure at this though.  Just something I can do better.

4.  Respond Physically - This could mean sexually, but for him it was more about responding when he touches me in other ways.  Sort of like flirting.  I was pretty good at this before kids, but now I have three little ones touching me all day and Bubba is the one who seems to get cut off. 

5.  I just noticed that he only picked four.  I think they were big enough and hard enough, he knew he better not pick any more :)

I'll update you how I'm doing on this later.  I decided that he gave me a pretty big list so I might just start with one or two until I master those.  Whether we succeed or not, communication was opened up between the two of us.  We got to talk about our hopes and desires for our marriage.  We even talked about the many things that each of us is doing right.

Romance

Precious is a lover.  I have been fighting that since the day she was born.  When playing dress-up, she always wanted to be a bride or wife or princess with a prince charming.  In preschool she had her first crush or maybe boyfriend since he liked her too.  I tried to tell her boys are icky and she should run from the boys as fast as she can.  She seemed to take that literally because in first grade she would have the boys chase her around the playground because she liked to be chased.  I say "she would have" them chase her because she didn't have to force them.  They just wanted to.  Oh to have that kind of power :)  Anyway,  our school had their book fair the other day and she said, "Mom, I want a romance."  I was so taken aback that I didn't know what to say.  One, why does she know that word?  Two, can't she just read normal girl books like Clementine?  After talking to her for a little bit, I realized she actually meant that she wanted a fairytale.  You know, like, princess meets prince charming and they live happily ever after.  I struggle with fairy tales too because I don't want to set her up for disappointment when it comes to her future husband.  I have been trying to change her so much that I have failed to embrace her as God created her.  For whatever reason, God made her a lover.  He put that desire in her heart.  I need to stop trying to change that about her and encourage her to love.  I have always prayed that God would bring up a Christian man that completes her, but I think I better start praying for him to be able to live up to her expectations now because he's going to need all the help he can get. 

It's about to get all Pinteresty up in here.

I have this friend Jayme who makes me think I can do all these crafty things.  Which sounds good until I buy all the supplies and procrastinate until the night before to actually do the projects.  Jayme is room mom and inspired me to do some Pinterest projects for my kids' class this year.  Here is how they turned out:

Popcorn witch hands.

Mummy juice boxes.

Treat bags.

Here are the girls all dressed up and ready to have fun.

Rapunzel Precious.

Vampire Sissy.

I think the favorite part of her costume was her red lipstick.

Boys having fun with the gummy skeletons from the treat bags.

The most handsome football player I have ever seen (only because
I never got to see Bubba play football).

Sissy being silly with her friend.

 

Pumpkin Patch

We made it to the pumpkin patch this year and all the kids had a wonderful time.  Here are the pics:

BubbaJ on the teeter totter.



He needed a little help from Daddy so he could teeter totter with Precious.



Precious showing BubbaJ how to have fun on the teeter totter.



All three posing as marshmallows.  Sissy's wish came true.



Sisters and friends.



BubbaJ's favorite ride(anything with a steering wheel).



Precious trying out the sling shot.  She came really close to the target a couple of times.

Sissy's turn.



I even gave it a go.  Precious came closer than I did:)



Watch out!  Here come Precious and Sissy.  Actually, they're pedal
cars and Sissy rode on the back of mine.  Hard work!



King and queens of the mountain.  Or tire anyway.



We even conquered the corn maze.

Worry

I had a hard time with the teachers my kids got this year.  Last year when they sent home the form to request a teacher, we thought about it very hard, but decided that God had our kids' best interests in mind and that He would take care of it.  Now, it's one thing to do that and another to truly let God have control.  It sort of overtook me around the time school started.  I am always a bit emotional at that time anyways because I miss my kids so much. It's almost a time of mourning for me when they go back to school.  I mourn the time I had with them during the summer that will soon be spent in school.  This year was even harder because I was not comfortable with the teachers they got. 

After the first few weeks, I knew that God was right.  Big surprise, huh?  You mean God knew what he was doing?!  Why does that continue to shock me?  Precious' teacher was structured and strict, but at the same time caring and approachable.  Exactly what she needs.  Then, I was able to get to know her teacher even better because she went to our church's women's retreat.  That was really cool.  There is something super comforting about knowing you are sending your child to a Christian every day.

Precious struggled with her AR goal accuracy last 9 weeks.  It literally came down to one book to decide if she would make her goal or not.  Her teacher told me that she stood over her and prayed for her as she took the test.  I love that she is praying for my child during the day when I can't be there.  She'll never know how much that meant to me.

Last weekend, we went to see some friends and family out of town.  Well, some of our close friends know Precious' teacher from their church.  Cool.  Then my sister-in-law spoke up and said that Precious' teacher was her first grade teacher.  CRAZY!  Precious talked to her about it at school today and she said that my sister-in-law was her first class to teacher, ever!  God has a way of speaking to me.  It's His you-can't-deny-this-because-it's-just-to-crazy way of getting through to a stubborn woman.

Let this be a lesson to me.  God is sovereign and amazing and I could never create a plan for my kids that is better than the one He has chosen for them.

Heartbreaking

Yesterday was the first time that my heart completely broke for my daughter.  I've been sad for her before, but this was different.  When she got in the car after her student council meeting she told me she needed to talk to me in her room.  She raced downstairs as soon as we got home and said, "Come on Mom."  Then I listened to her tell a story through her tears that I'm sure I will hear many, many more times.  How her "friend" buddied up with another girl and purposefully left her out.  How it hurt her and she didn't know what to do.  I did the best I could to make her feel better.  I reminded her that she is so lucky to have a family that loves her no matter what, a God that is always with her, and lots of friends.  But even as I spoke those words, I knew they weren't enough.  I wanted to scoop her up and make it all go away, but I knew that I could never give her what she needs.  I'll never be enough.  Because that's how God intended it.  He is the only one that can fill that void.  That can make Precious realize that it doesn't matter what those girls think or how they act.  That she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).  That she is precious in His sight (Isaiah 43:4).  That she is made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God (Ephesians 3:19).  My eyes still fill with tears as I think of the pain she felt and my heart breaks for all pain she will feel in her life, especially pain brought on by her friends.  Being a girl is hard.  I pray that she will turn to God to help her get through it.

Father,  Please guide my words as I deal with these issues alongside my kids.  Fill the gap between what I can do to help them and what only you can do.  Use every tear to draw them closer to you, making them a better Christian and friend to others.  Help them see when others are feeling that same pain and take action to help them feel better.  Lord, we know the evil one will try to use these things for his purpose.  Guard my kids' hearts from him.  Turn their thoughts to you so that you will fill them with love and compasion.  Remind them each day how precious they truly are.  Thank you for blessing my life with their presence.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

Mom's Legacy

My mom's sister had a very sudden illness that really hit home for my mom.  I think it scared her.  Made her afraid that she could lose someone close to her, that she won't have enough time to do everything she wants to do, that she could leave this world at any moment.  She has started wondering what her legacy will be, so this ones for you mom.  Here is your legacy to me:

You worked so hard all of your life.  On those days when I'm not sure how I'm going to find the energy to make it through, I turn to memories of you cooking supper after working all day.  And you cleaning the house and working on the lawn every Saturday.  You instilled a strong work ethic in me that also transfers to my home.

You set a wonderful example as a wife.  Watching you support Dad through everything taught me that I need to stand by my husband even through the hard times.  And even if I don't agree with every decision.  It's hard to be a loving, supportive wife.  It is easier for me because you are there to talk to, to encourage me and to remind me what really matters.

As an adult, I cherish the many faith-based conversations we have had.  The Bible is complicated and hard to understand.  I take great joy in discussing it with you.  You have led me to a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ.  You have taught me that going to church is important, but going to a church that preaches God's word is vital. 

You have shown me that even though we all make mistakes, admitting when you're wrong can make all the difference.  There are so many times that I make a decision that I later realize was not the best choice.  Because of your example, I know how to make that right.

I am the mom I am today because of the mom you were to me. You have taught me how to love my kids unconditionally. How to see their flaws and love them the same anyways.  How to worry about them without letting it consume me :)  How to let them grow up and become their own person.

These are the things that you have given me.  The things that I will remember forever.  The things that will live on through me and my children and their children. 

Heavenly Father,  Thank you for blessing my life with such a wonderful mother.  Your sovereignty is so amazing.  The way you place each family together, knowing the outcome long before we do.  My mom could not be more perfect for me.  I thank you for her strength and courage.  Thank you for all the days I have left with her.  May I cherish each one and may you bless each one.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

Sissy's Prayer Today

This is just a section:

"Thank you for mommy being a baby. I mean for making her be born. And that she is okay and normal and everything."

I wonder how much longer she'll think of me as "normal." I think Precious has already figured out that that's not true:)

5K

A few weeks ago I ran my very first 5K.  I have walked in charity ones before but never raced in one. 

I tried to run track in junior high.  I'm pretty sure my coaches still remember me.  And not because I am from a crazy small town, but because I spent more time complaining about running than actually running.  I was terrible at everything.  It was obvious that I couldn't sprint, so they had me try high jump and long jump.  Nope, couldn't jump either.  I eventually ended up with the 800m and relays of course, where other people who were fast could make up for my slowness. 

I distinctly remember the time I actually got a ribbon in the 800m.  It was the only individual ribbon I earned.  There was a girl right behind me so I had to go all out at the end, but I squeaked by with a 6th place ribbon.  I remember my coaches at the finish line cheering me on and giving me a hug as I collapsed into their arms after I had crossed the finish line.  I didn't realize what great coaches they were until recently.  They did not discard me and only pay attention to those athletes that they knew would succeed.  They cared enough about the person inside to devote part of their time to someone they knew they would never reap any benefits from.  That's what makes a great coach.

All that for you to see how pathetically bad I was at running.  I said in an older post that I have devoted my running time to God.  Well, it's amazing what God can do when you surrender a part of your life to him.  Galatians 5:22-23  But what happens when we live God's way?  He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard--things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity.  We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people.  We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

In the 5k I placed 51st out of 504 people in my age group.  I placed 478 out of over 4,000 people.  My time was 26:39:1.  I don't really know if that is good or bad, but I don't really care.  I had so much fun and I don't want to obsess over my time.  My friend, Erin, asked me what I want to do now.  Am I going to work on running faster or farther?  Neither.  I plan on continuing to love running 3 miles a day however fast God leads me to run that day.  Because running to me is about spending time with God, not about being the best or the fastest.

Hope, riches, and power.

These verses have been speaking to me lately.  Each time I look at them, I walk away with a renewed spirit to do His work each day.

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.  Ephesians 1:18-19

Hope that's just waiting for us to realize it's there.  And power...great power!  Friends, when He calls us to something, He will provide everything.  All we have to do is believe.

Right now, I pray these words for my church.  That we may be enlightened to know the hope which he calls us to.  That we lean on His great power and not our own.  That we replace worry and fear with hope and love.  That we believe God will provide these things for us.

Proverbs 7:3

As I go through my daily Bible reading, many times there are verses that speak to me or just a new understanding that I gain.  However, something that seemed so clear to me one day easily fades over time.  This is an effort to remember those things and "write them deep within my heart."

King Solomon who was granted wisdom by God himself could not resist the temptation of sin.  Wisdom is important, but it is not everything.  We are called to study His word and hide it in our hearts, but most importantly we are called to love.  Matthew 22:37-38  Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself."  To love God and through Him love our families and friends, love our church, love strangers and enemies.  Because (1 Corinthians 13:2) if I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing.  Nothing.....

Father,  Please don't let me go through my life as nothing.  Fill me up with your unending love so that I can share it with others.  So that I can be a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better church member, and a better witness for you.  Please speak to my church as we go through a difficult time.  Help us to share with others and grow, but most importantly help us to love.  Love our pastors, love each other, love our community.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

Small Victory

Each night, I wait until my husband is home so I can go for my jog.  Well, the other night he had a softball game to play.  I could either skip my run or do it with BubbaJ in the jogging stroller.  Because I'm pretty stubborn, I opted to go and push the extra weight.  I actually made it all three miles!  Yes, I'm pretty pumped:)

Running with God

I love running!!!  And I hate running!  There are days when I can't wait for my husband to get home so I can lace up my shoes and hit the pavement.  Then, there are days when it's all I can do to peel myself off the couch to go out.  Either way, I can't do it without God by my side.

I don't know about all those people who have always loved to run, but for me there is a moment in every run where I begin rethinking why I went.  The thing that gets me through that is God.  Because I know that alone I am powerless, but with God I can do anything.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:13

I don't listen to music when I run.  There is so much going on in my life every day.  If the kids aren't attacking me with questions or needs, then my husband can't find something or supper needs made.  When I started running, I decided that I wanted it to be about me and God.  No music, no kids, no distractions.  Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10.  My runs are spent pondering the days activities, wondering what tomorrow will bring, and allowing God to pull it all together for me.  He reminds me that His glory, His agenda, and His will in my life are that really matters. 

When I get home, I feel so good!  I feel better about my health and my weight.  And everything has been put into perspective.  I can come home and love my kids and husband because God has filled me up with His love while I was gone.

Father, Thank you for being so faithful.  For always being there.  I know there has never been a moment in my life when you weren't there.  I'm so grateful for the love that you so freely give.  Without it, I would not be able to be the mother and wife that I am.  May all the glory be yours.  In Jesus Name, amen.

Mothers of Boys

I have recently developed a new respect for the mothers of boys.  I always knew that boys have lots of energy and run around way more than girls do, but learning that through experience has given me a whole new perspective.  It's like BubbaJ is just a ball full of energy just bursting to get out. 

The other day I put him on the trampoline and he just ran around and threw his arms in the air and jumped like a crazy person.  When I take him to the back yard, he runs around in circles like he has been cooped up all day(which he has not).  You would think at the end of the day he would be completely exhausted and ready to sleep, but nope.  He does not like to be in his crib where he is not free to let loose of his seemingly unending energy. 

I always respected my mother-in-law, but having a son has opened my eyes to some of what she went through raising three boys.  I just know that BubbaJ is exactly what my husband was like when he was a kid.  He still has oodles of energy and always smiles.  He half-runs everywhere he goes.  I'm not sure he even knows how to walk.  BubbaJ has also inherited his dad's stubbornness, um, I mean, dedication to his own opinion. 

To me, all of this means that God is going to refine me in so many ways through BubbaJ.  I'm sure I will question everything I have ever done as a parent.  BubbaJ has already reminded me that God is my source of strength.  I'm scared and excited to see all the things God has in store.  I pray that in the end I help BubbaJ as much as he helped me.

Customer Loyalty Anyone?

Whatever happened to companies that cherish their loyal customers?  Today, it pays to hop around from company to company.  It does not make sense to me.  Companies are willing to work so hard to get your business, but then they penalize you for being a long-time customer.  We recently received a bill from XM radio which we have on Bubba's vehicle.  For a year it was going to be approximately $190.  He decided to cancel because he didn't want to pay that much, so he called them up.  Immediately the guy on the phone offered to give him the year for around $80.  That is less than half what the original bill was!!!  Simply on principle he turned them down.  We went through this not long ago with Terminex.  If our business is so precious to you, shouldn't you be giving us the best deal possible instead of encouraging us to leave?  Could someone please explain this to me? 

Pinocchio

Sissy came home from school with an old 35 mm film canister to fill up with coins and send back to school.  They are having their annual Mini Relay for Life.  She was so excited about it that the first thing she did when we got home from school was fill it up with her money.  Fast forward to the next morning.  The canister was MIA.  I helped her look for it because I knew she would never find it on her own.  She is just like my husband.  If it is not slapping her in the face, she can't find it.  She informed me that BubbaJ had probably gotten it, so I searched all of his frequent hiding spots, but came up empty-handed. Sissy said, "I wish BubbaJ was a real boy, so he could tell me where he put it." 

I finally told her that she would just have to take it to school the next day, so I would have time to find it.  She sadly obeyed.  I am not kidding you, not two minutes after BubbaJ and I got home from dropping the girls off, he was walking around shaking that canister to hear the sound it made.  I have no idea where it was, but he obviously remembered exactly where he had put it the night before.  I'm pretty sure he's a "real boy" and a pretty smart boy at that.

Geocaching

First, I want to say that I got absolutely nothing accomplished today.  I spent the entire day playing with my kids.  I don't do that very often because the OCD side of me can't let my housework go for a day.  So, please no visitors tonight because my house is a mess.

I heard about geocaching from Erin, but she didn't have very good luck.  It is like a scavenger hunt.  Here is a link that will explain it all www.geocaching.com.  So I decided to start with the really easy ones.  The first one, Sissy found by herself.  She was so proud.  Then we couldn't find the next one.  It was a nano which are apparently about the size of a quarter=very hard to find.  Sissy ended up finding the next one too, so then we went for one Precious could find.  In the end Sissy found two and Precious found one and we couldn't find two.  The day was a huge success.  Even BubbaJ had fun running around while the girls hunted.

We will be doing this again.  Hopefully as a family outing sometime.

Adjustment

Last year was an amazing year for us.  The biggest blessing by far was the addition of BubbaJ to our family.  It took a lot of adjusting, but he has added so much joy to our family.  Now we are faced with another event that will hopefully bring us lots of joy too.  My parents have gotten a permanent residence in our state. 

Ever since, well, really the summer before my senior year in high school my parents have moved a lot.  My dad moved to Virginia and my mom stayed with me so I could finish high school.  Then she moved to be with Dad.  After that they lived in Texas, Oklahoma, back to Texas, and Florida.  For the last several years they have lived in their fifth wheel or motor home, so they have been in Florida some of the time and with us some of the time. 

My parents' decision to move away was one of the best they ever made.  That, along with my maturing into an adult, have made our relationship so much stronger.  Also, they found joy that I'm convinced they could never have found any other way.  But it came with it's down sides.  While other college kids were going back home on the weekend, I didn't have a home to go to.  While other families gathered at their childhood homes for holidays, allowing them to reminisce about Christmas's and Thanksgiving's past.  We didn't have a childhood home to go back to.  When we tell our kids we are going to see Grammy and Papa, they aren't sure where we are going.  They have missed basketball games, soccer games, music concerts, and birthday parties.  But we have enjoyed some amazing family vacations that our kids will remember forever.

While they will still be gone some, I look forward to the benefits of my parents living close by.  They will be able to have us all over for supper, babysit the kids if we need them to, come to some of the kids activities.  I'm sure there will be lots of adjusting.  How often will we see them, where will we see them, what will we do when we're with them?  How to balance letting them have their own lives with our desire to have them around for everything.  But as BubbaJ has showed us, adjusting can be very difficult and sometimes painful, but the blessing that remains is well worth it.

Father, Be with our family as we make this adjustment.  Guide us through our decisions and our reactions to others decisions.  Help us to think of others first and to use kind words as we communicate as a family.  Mold our desires into your will and use this opportunity to show each of us your glory, grace, and wisdom.  I pray that this change will bring comfort and joy to our entire family.  Thank you for giving me parents who have put you at the center of their lives and given me a legacy of faith to follow.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

Surprisingly Satisfied

I do solemnly resolve to embrace my current season of life and will maximize my time in it.  I will resist the urge to hurry through or circumvent any portion of my journey but will live with a spirit of contentment.

Samantha Zweifel

Not-so-bloody Boy Incident

We had BubbaJ's one year checkup today.  Everything was fine except Doc said BubbaJ has a bead in his ear.  One of Precious's bracelets got broken a few weeks ago so when Doc said there was a pearly white bead in his ear, I knew just where it had come from.  The only question is whether he put it there or one of his sisters.  Apparently it will come out by itself and I don't need to worry.  I'm not really worried about the bead that's there now.  It's more about the things I will find in his ear or up his nose in the future.

Bloody Boy Incident #1

We had our first bloody incident with BubbaJ yesterday.  Of course my husband was at work when it happened.  Why does no one ever get hurt when he's home?  I mean seriously!  He's the one teaching them all kinds of dangerous things and yet I'm always the one who has to deal with the injuries.  Anyways, here is how it went down.  The girls come running to me asking, "Why is BubbaJ's mouth red?"  I didn't quite know what to think because they were extremely calm.  When I saw him, his whole mouth was red with blood and his shirt was red.  I rushed him into the bathroom to find out where it was coming from.  It took me a long time to figure it out because it was bleeding so much I couldn't pinpoint the origin of the blood.  I finally determined that it was coming from between his top lip and gum.  I called my husband to see what to do next.  I think I more needed him to calm me down than actually tell me anything, but he knew just what to say to me to keep me focused.  It took a while to stop the bleeding, but it finally did.  I gave BubbaJ some Tylenol because I felt so bad for him.  A couple of times throughout the day it started bleeding again, but stopped relatively quickly.  I'm sure we will have plenty more bloody incidents with a boy.  And I'm sure that my husband will always have the words to calm me down.

The Resolution for Women - Overflowing Blessing

"The contented woman, when required to give of her time, her love, her resources...herself...is secure in the knowledge that she possesses enough to do it.  And she looks forward to experiencing the promise of an outlandish return on her investment."--Priscilla Shirer

When I hear the sermon on God returning your giving in abundance, my mind automatically turns to finances.  Which, is part of it, but what I need work on right now is energy and love.

I have always struggled with low energy levels.  It has sort of turned into this cycle.  I'm tired so I covet sleep.  I have this fear that tomorrow I'm not going to have enough energy, so I try to store it up today.  Like somehow the nap I had today will sustain me tomorrow when there is no time for that.  But I end up having no energy today and no energy tomorrow.  Since my post on trusting that God would give me the energy I needed to get through the day, I have learned that giving my energy to BubbaJ or my girls or my husband produces much better results than taking a nap.  God looks at that as serving Him and in return provides me with more energy. 

Also, I rely way too much on my husband to fill my "love bank."  He will never be perfect, he will never love me enough, and he will never fill me up.  When I don't feel loved, I tend to pout or feel sorry for myself.  Which then turns into me not wanting to do anything for anyone because "they don't love me like they should."  If I would simply rely on God to fill me up, I would have all the love I need and so much more to share with my family and friends. 

"It appears that the best way to get more of what you need is to give away the little you think you have left--at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way.  Yes, the best way to be surprisingly satisfied is to be irrationally released to respond to God's promptings to serve, even when doing so seems impossible because of your perceived lack." - Priscilla Shirer

The Resolution for Women - The Secret

Contentment.  It has always been a secret to me. That's probably why Paul has always been one of my favorite people.  "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.  I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot."  Philippians 4:11-12. 

"A satisfied woman is such a surprising woman.  She is shockingly noticeable to a world that lives on a watered-down version of the secret--a secret that she obviously got the truth about.  You can tell it by her peace and serenity, by her solace and restfulness, by the mysterious sense of ease that accompanies her.  Her presence alone delivers an air of refreshment to any setting she enters, to anyone she's around." The Resolution for Women

I WANT THAT!  To not want that girl's hair or that girl's clothes or that girl's well-behaved kids.  This world is so good at convincing us that we need something different or newer or better.  It's a constant battle to remind myself that God has given me everything I need for this very moment in my life. 

"Your God can be trusted to grant you the supply you need to excel at His purposes.  So if you don't have it - whatever it is - it's because you don't need it.  You may want it, but it's not necessary in order to accomplish what He knows is most important for your life today."  The Resolution for Women

My Needs                     God's Provision
Food/Shelter                 wonderful home/more than enough food
Energy                          somehow there is always enough(sometimes just enough but enough)
Support                         Christian husband, family and friends
Guidance                      Scripture and Biblical books

There are so many reasons for God to withhold blessings from me.  I'm selfish, I'm greedy, my heart is not ready to accept them, I am not ready to use them the way He wants.  I trust that God will help me to change those things and bless me when He sees fit.

The Resolution for Women - Every Bite Counts

I am currently reading The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer based on the movie Courageous.  I want to document the journey I go through as I read it, so I am going to attempt to post for every section I read.  First, I have to say that I did not seek out this book.  My husband and I watched the movie when it was out in theaters and I secretly wished that it had touched more on mothers.  As I walked through Walmart the other day, I was thinking that I needed a book that would really engage me.  And that's when I walked by an end-cap filled with this book and also the one for men.  I truly hope God uses this book to change me and that others will be able to see and feel that change.

Today I read about being content in the moment.  I had never thought of it this way, but Priscilla explained that she doesn't have many memories because she spent most of her life just looking forward to the next stage. 

"I recognized that by rushing through life, I'd been subtly devaluing those around me and experiences I was involved in, not appreciating the importance and significance they bring to my life at this very moment, not grasping my responsibility for holding dear and treating well these gifts God has entrusted to me.  Instead of embracing the privilege of being a blessing to my husband, my children, my friends, and others, I'd been quietly communicating that I wanted them to change and speed up, to get busy being somebody else, someone who's more in line with what I want and need, to hurry along to a place where they could make me happier than they currently do."


I went through most of my life trying to get to the next stage too.  Until, all of a sudden, I realized my kids are half grown.  They will never be babies again.  They will never need me to tie their shoes again.  They will never graduate from kindergarten again.  And there will be a day when they will never live with me again.  That's why with BubbaJ, I have been living in the moment.  Enjoying every stage as he goes through it.  Because as Priscilla said, "Only for these fleeting moments would my children talk, look, and act exactly like this.  And if I chose to hurry through them in an attempt to avoid the parts I didn't like, I'd simultaneously miss all the things I did like about this season."

I Love You Most-est

Sissy has discovered a new game.  Here is how it goes:

Me:  I love you Sissy.

Sissy:  I love you more.

Me:  I love you most.

Sissy:  I love you most-est.

Me:  I love you most-infinity.

Sissy:  I love you like God.

I love that she knows God loves us more than infinity. 

Raising Pharisees

I recently got connected with the blog Raising Godly Children.  It is a wonderful Christian blog that has the same core beliefs that I do.  One of the articles I read the other day really hit home for me.  Bubba and I have worked really hard at disciplining our children.  Obedience and self-discipline are important concepts in scripture.  But after I read that article I was reminded that they are secondary to the love of Jesus Christ.  We don't want to raise well-behaved children and miss out on teaching them the love that our Father has for us.  Since their example of His love for them is our love for them, I want them to feel that unconditional, always present love from me that I feel from Jesus every day.  I don't want them to grow up and think they have to can earn their salvation.  Yes, I tell them all the time that I love them no matter what, but I just want to make sure that my actions are saying that to them as well. 

Resolve

As the new year comes and everyone is making New Year's resolutions, I have realized that there are many things that I would like to do this year, but few things that I am actually "resolved" to do. 

Here are some things I would like to do:

Eat better - less snack food and more salads and broccoli.
Exercise more - or just exercise:)  I still have lots of baby weight I would love to lose.
Go to the beach - I have been hinting shouting at my husband that for one of our vacations this year I would like to go to a resort on the beach.
Start jogging again - I have discovered that I love to jog outside, but despise it inside on the treadmill.

Here are the things I am resolved to do :

Read my Bible everyday - I downloaded the YouVersion app on my phone and have been keeping up with this so far.
Do my Bible study 5 times a week.
Cherish every moment with my kids - even Precious and Sissy when the moments I have with them are increasingly more emotional and awkward(that's a whole other story).

I figure if I write theses things down, I will be more likely to follow through.  So feel free to hold me accountable (on the things I'm resolved to do anyway). 

Things I Never Want to Forget Cont.

The way BubbaJ puts his arm around mine to hold on when I carry him on my hip.  I never want to forget carrying him on my hip for that matter either.