U

Our Sunday school class is doing the iMarriage study by Andy Stanley.  It's been great so far.  The concept is that everyone starts a marriage with certain desires and those desires can turn into expectations if we're not careful.  Eventually those expectations will lead to disappointment.  "I" marriages exist when all a person can think about is what "I" deserve and what "I" am owed.  Well, what I discovered yesterday is that I also have a big "U" in my marriage.  The "U" for me is when I read a study and all I can think about is what you (meaning my spouse) need to do better.  Nothing in the Bible teaches us to examine others to make them better.  In fact, it tells us the opposite. 

Matthew 7:4 How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

Isaiah 11:3 And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD. He shall not judge by what his eyes see,or decide disputes by what his ears hear,

Matthew 7:1 Judge not, that you be not judged.

I shouldn't worry about what my spouse is doing wrong, while I myself am not a perfect mate.  Well, pretty far from it actually.  I have struggled to focus on what I can do to make my spouse feel good about our marriage.  It's like I always tell the kids, "You worry about you."  Nothing gets accomplished by simply telling others what they need to do.  We are called by God to follow his commands and He will take it from there.


Psalm 50:4 He calls to the heavens above and to the earth, that he may judge his people

Isaiah 11:4 but with righteousness he shall judge the poor,and decide with equity for the meek of the earth;and he shall strike the earth with the rod of his mouth,and with the breath of his lips he shall kill the wicked.

"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate." - Barnett R. Brickner